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Sunday, May 20, 2012

Lessons in Food Prep

In the last 3 months the boyfriend (whom I lovingly refer to as "Pook") has proceeded to give himself food poisoning at least 3 times - there may have been more incidents, but I'm assuming that he has begun to refrain from letting me in on these little adventures.

The first time this happened I felt bad for him. You see, we live two hours away from each other, so unless we're together on the weekend, a lot of our communication stems from phone calls and text messages. So when he first informed me through text that he wasn't feeling so hot due to something he ate I gave him the full blown "Oh baby, I'm sorry." That is, until I talked to him later that night and he gave me the full story.

Being a college educated, highly intelligent male - you would think he would be able to prepare himself food without any serious repercussions. Apparently, up at the big fancy college he attended they don't teach you how to check expiration dates or the rules of expired food. While making himself a burrito one night he goes to the fridge to grab some salsa. Much to his dismay the salsa had expired a full YEAR ago. He ponders this for a second....his options are to go without salsa and throw it away, drive to the store and get new salsa (which for anyone who knows him, knows that's not gonna happen) - or risk contaminating his bowels with the expired stuff. Can you guess what option he chose?

As he's telling me this, I literally have my head in my hands; thinking that this is the worst of it. Nope. Not even close. He decides to boil the salsa to get rid of any contaminants and proceeds with his meal - only hours later to be regretting that decision full force. At this point in the conversation I am laughing my ass off and telling him that he's an idiot. He spent the rest of the night in misery. Lesson learned right?


He ate the salsa for the rest of the week. My sympathy is gone.

Hence my response to the last time he did this to himself....

What have I got myself into? 

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