Friday, January 11, 2013

Shitty Ideas That My Boyfriend Has Had This Week:

This was an old post that never made it to the blog. It amuses me so I had to share..... :)

November 9, 2012

Sometimes Vern has good ideas - sometimes Vern has bad ideas....very bad ideas.
This week he was on a roll with two rather horrible suggestions.

It's been a long week in our household - with him having conferences all week and me starting my new job - we've both gotten home pretty late. I would love to tell you that these ideas come from his sleep-deprived brain, but lets be honest...the kid comes up with this stuff on a rather consistent basis.  I don't even notice how ridiculous he is anymore because he has conditioned me to his weirdness.



Example:

Vern: I figured out what we're going to be for Halloween next year?
Me: What's that?
Vern: Dr. Evil and MINI-ME!
Me: .........no...........
Vern: WHY!
Me: Just....no.....
Vern: COME ON! We can get matching white suits and bald caps. I'll even get you like a little hairless kitten to carry around....although....to make it realistic you would probably have to walk around on your knees all night. It would be AMAZING!
Me: No.
Vern: YOU ARE THE DESTROYER OF FUN!

A few days later he came up with this gem of an idea:

Vern: You know what I was thinking for our room?
Me: What's that?
Vern: We should bunk our bed.
Me. Bunk...our...bed?
Vern: Yeah. Like a bunk bed without the bottom bunk. That way we would have more storage or room for activities.
Me: We have a king size bed Vern.
Vern: Your point?
Me: No.
Vern: WHY!?
Me: We're not bunking a king size bed. We don't need more storage and what sort of activities would we need the entire room for?
Vern: I don't know Tawnya. I could put my climbing gear there. It would make me happy.
Me: Not happening. Climbing gear can go in the garage. There will be no bunking of our bed.
Vern: WHY MUST YOU RUIN MY HAPPINESS WOMAN! THIS RELATIONSHIP HAS TOO MANY RULES!

Le sigh. I love him, but someone has to be the level-headed one here - and it is obviously not him.



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